And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
What drink are we having for lunch?
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Randomize
