Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
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