I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize