Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
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