It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
