I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
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