I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
