Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Randomize
