I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
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