just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
Randomize
