pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
i just google imaged poop.
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
