The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
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