if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Randomize
