Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Randomize