Got a toothbrush?
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
Randomize