I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Randomize
