I wish my penis had an off switch
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Randomize
