No awkward lesbian experiences without me
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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