I hope mine doesn't look like that
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
