Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
