The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
Randomize
