fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
Do vagina's smell?
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
Randomize
