ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
