You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
Randomize