Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Randomize
