dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
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