I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
He's on the porch naked. Help.
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