I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
I can't trust your balls anymore.
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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