through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
Can I color on your dick again?
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Randomize
