Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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