the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
Randomize
