Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
Randomize
