don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
I'm okay, they said the swelling should go down in a week. But next time I'm shitwrecked, please make sure to remind me that I can't open a champagne bottle with corkscrew.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
I believe in your delicious
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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