Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
Randomize
