Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Randomize
