Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
Randomize
