We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
We had sex on a dog bed..
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
Randomize
