every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
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