Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize
