She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
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