i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize
