I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
jump out the window naked night went bad
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