You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
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