do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
That's how pantless uber rides happen
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
Randomize
