it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
