i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
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