Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
Randomize
