Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
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