Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
