ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
Randomize
