if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
Such a big mess for such a small penis
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
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