I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
Randomize
