he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
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