tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
Randomize