mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
Then you guys just all showered together...?
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
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