I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
