i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize