Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
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