how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
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