The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Randomize
